One year ago today I discovered yoga and tonight, meditation.
Tonight my yoga teacher started a summer series of a free community meditation wherein we focused on our breath. We had a few minutes of time leftover after the guided meditation ended for an open discussion on what we experienced during our practice. I was too shy to speak because it was my first experience meditating, or so I thought, so I sat silently. A brave soul spoke out and shared how she felt as though she were rocking back and forth to which I immediately and somewhat elatedly replied, “Me too!”
I will always vividly remember my first yoga class. I remember struggling with having to focus on my breath. I remember wondering why I was so freely able to breathe when Sam never took one of his own.
Exactly a year ago I shared, “Today’s hatha yoga class gave me space to just connect with myself. To be quiet and to be present. I know my poses weren’t perfect but it allowed me to feel comfortable with my body, where it is, and where I am right now.
I wasn’t sure what to anticipate but it made me realize that I meditate a lot more frequently than I had initially thought. Often in my grief, I have become so overwhelmed that my only response is to stop. Stop everything. Just be still. Observe my breath. In and out. In and out. Then my mind would begin to quiet.
After others offered their thoughts on their own meditation, I shared that when I became aware of the rocking sensation, the thought crossed my mind that maybe I was literally feeling my heart beat. Is it possible I became aware of the blood running through my body, and my soul in tune with the rhythm of my heart? I think so.
Lovingly challenged, this week I will create space for my meditation practice. I’m looking forward to all that might reveal itself to me while my heart and soul are intertwined yet untangled.
Silence is an empty space, space is the home of the awakened mind. – Buddha