I was just cleaning up my second round of dishes for today and wondering if every stay at home mom lives in a constant state of laundry and dishes like I do. They must. There’s no way around it.
Yesterday a friend posted on her Facebook page and asked if money weren’t an object what we’d all be doing with our day. I replied only in my head. I’d be doing EXACTLY what I was doing in that moment, which was sitting around and playing with Norah. Her question popped into my head again this afternoon as I was cleaning up lunch. My answer remains the same.
I wouldn’t trade my piles of laundry and dishes for the world. It wasn’t long ago that I was dreaming of the life I have now and that will never be lost on me.
Do you remember when I had my energy read by Jamie Homeister? (If you’re local, I highly recommend booking an appointment with her and getting your own Chakaragraph!) Jamie saw redirection in my life, a “creative energy was coming” as I was “born to create”.
Tonight I am going to my yoga studio’s open house for prospective yoga teachers. I’ve already filled out my application. All that’s left is a deposit and to be accepted into their program.
I ended 2018 with a mental list of things I wanted to accomplish in 2019.
1. Mother a living child.
2. Start a garden.
3. Become a yoga teacher.
And would you look at my year so far! It’s no wonder I feel peace. Redirection took over when Norah was born healthy and my heart could be nowhere else, so I quit my job. My garden is flourishing, even if I have no idea what I’m doing. I started my own business with Beachbody and am connected to the most amazing and authentic tribe. And tonight, I get to hear about yoga teacher training and see if there’s a place for me in that world in 2020.
My creative energy has arrived, friends. Jamie was right – I was born for this. For motherhood, nourishing and loving plants and people, community and wellness. It all makes me feel whole.
Someone shared with me recently that she read my blog in one sitting from beginning to end. Some of you have been with me from the start of Thinking of Sam. I think you’ve seen it – my transformation – physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically – and gratitude overwhelms me.
Thank you for loving me and supporting me and honoring my journey. I’m most indebted to Ted. He’s allowed me to just be me. He’s loved me and stood by my side as I chase my dreams of motherhood and beyond. I’m in love with this one wild and precious life of mine.
The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
—Mary Oliver
Thinking of Sam 