A journey of life, loss & all the beautiful things in between.
Tonight is Ted's monthly board member meeting at our local golf course. We met at home after work, fixed a quick dinner and I was left with an empty house before the sun fell. I pulled out yoga mat and decided tonight was as good of night as any to practice in the middle of my…
I haven't written in awhile. It's been such a busy beginning of the year. Next week we're heading on vacation with 8 of our best friends. I've been looking forward to it since the idea was first mentioned sometime late last year. April. Vacation. At the end of the year last year it took pressure…
I've been feeling much removed from my grief lately. I'm not sure if it's because being sad all the time is tiresome and I'm tired of being tired, if I've somehow grasped some small amount of control of living in grief or if deciding to take antidepressants has blocked the pain in my heart to…
For Christmas, my sister in law and her family bought me a new yoga mat. I had been lusting after Jade Yoga's Harmony Mat in red wine. How can you not fall in love with a red wine colored yoga mat? I've only used my new mat when I go to the studio. I don't want to…
Recently Ted and I were watching a tv show where a daughter was being particularly hard on her mother. Her mother's friend said to the girl, "Be kind. Don't you think she's suffered enough for one lifetime?" Effortlessly tears began to fall as suffering has become a close friend of mine. But in reality, suffering…
I'm off work this morning. I woke up at my own pace and climbed into some leggings and a sports bra. I tossed between yoga in my dining room because the sun was shining in and yoga in Sam's room because it's in the process of becoming my new creative space. I chose Sam's room.…
Today I was reminded there are no right and wrong choices when you're grieving; it just is. Christmas was a foggy day yesterday, theoretically and literally. I awoke to a fog that never left our tiny southern Indiana town. The weather was as confused as I was about the day, leaving a cloud over my…
As we grow older we learn that the things we really want for Christmas are not things at all. If I had it my way, Santa would bring me Sam. I took the day off work today to prepare for our annual friends White Elephant Christmas Party. My morning started by greeting our plumber who…
I had my hair highlighted yesterday by my girlfriend, Jessica. I love getting my hair done. We agreed it’s like a fresh start once you look in the mirror and think to yourself man, my hair looks bad. This morning I woke up determined to make it a good day. I rose early, showered, fixed my…
I've been writing a lot in my journal this month as opposed to my blog. It's as though the thoughts that fill its pages are somehow too sacred to share. The real grief that ever so often floods my space and takes over my heart. As I inch closer to two years without Sam I…
Thinking of Sam 