Falling & Getting Back Up.

One of my biggest anxieties is returning to work, seeing the faces of people I love and continuing on in life without Sam. This morning before I left for yoga class I had committed myself to going to work to drop off a transcript I've been working on from home.  Having the work has been…

Peace & Yoga.

The past few days have been especially hard emotionally.  Ted and I found out over the weekend that a dear friend of ours has a brain tumor.  He will be having surgery this afternoon to remove the tumor, have it assessed and see what's next.  Since Sam was born, I've shared with some, how I've…

I’d Know You Anywhere, My Love.

The first book Sam ever received was I'd Know You Anywhere, My Love by Nancy Tillman.  I vividly remember being pregnant and opening the package from my Aunt Jude.  I sat on my couch and read the story out loud to myself with tears running down my cheeks.  It's true, I thought, I would know…

Light.

If my blog finds you because you've received a solar light as pictured below, I have prayed you would keep on reading. I write to you from Sam's nursery.  You know it's empty because you've visited his grave.  Yesterday, when my husband and I noticed that the original lights had been stolen from Sam's grave, I let…

Yesterday.

I don't have much to share today so I thought I would share our yesterday in photos.  My sweet husband had deemed the day to be mine - so we did some of my favorite things. We woke up and went to my favorite breakfast spot.  Ted and I like to frequent it on Saturday mornings…

Time.

Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. . (Psalm 143:8) I was surprised to meet the coolness of the day this morning.  I woke up, fixed a pot of coffee and started paying some of the bills that have begun to roll in from Sam's birth.  I was headed towards…

. .Just getting more awesome.

One of the many reasons I was so excited to become a Mama was to finally share in the life and experiences of my Mama friends.  Pre-pregnancy I would giggle when I would see the quote "Everyone I know is getting pregnant and I'm just getting more awesome".  There's an honest truth to the quote and an…

Maybes and Possibilities.

Denial.  Anger.  Bargaining.  Depression.  Acceptance. The five stages of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model.  Unless I'm still in denial (which I don't think I am) I'm not sure I fit anywhere in particular on this scale.  The stages that books, nurses and counselors tell me we will jump to and from in no specific order.…

Baby Newton live.

  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seculusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.  (Psalm 139: 15-16) From…

I surrender.

Before Sam was born Ted shared with me his excitement to look in his review mirror and see Sam riding in his backseat.  Now we both feel the emptiness behind us.  Ted tells me some of his loneliest moments are on his way to work, when he would have been dropping Sam off at daycare,…