A Thousand Years.

I've often heard Ted share that a difficult part of his journey as a loss Dad revolves around watching me and the pain that ebbs and flows so easily in my life.  I remember sitting in grief counseling with him one night and he shared, "Abby was just so excited to become a Mom" and…

I’m OK.

I saw this photo and found it fitting. I'm broken, it reads. It resonates with me on so many levels.  So often I answer, "I'm okay" when someone asks me how I'm doing.  Most of the time I mean it.  I am okay.  But faintly written on the outskirts of my response is my heart's…

Flood Yourself with Love.

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend and he asked me how I was with God.  It didn't take much time for me to respond, "For the first time in my life, I'm really not sure."  I shared with him that often times I wonder - why me, to which his voice returns…

Grief.

I've been crying tonight.  I laid next to Ted in bed and shared how sad I feel.  I told him that the last time I remember being genuinely happy was on my birthday two years ago. Ted took me to Madison, Indiana for the weekend where we were carefree in our celebrations.  As life has…

You Are Stronger Than You Think You Are.

This morning I found myself stretching into a longer Virabhadrasana II in response to my teacher lovingly telling me to lengthen myself across my mat. Once I settled back into the pose she said, "You are stronger than you think you are." I awoke wondering what freedom might greet me today. I spent a fun weekend…

I am a Warrior.

Today Ted and I had lunch at one of my favorite lunch spots in downtown New Albany.  When we arrived we sat across the small restaurant from a fairly new family of four.  There was a beautiful Mama and Dad with their twin boys who definitely weren't enjoying lunch as much as the rest of…

The Depths of Sadness. The Breadth of Happiness.

I was driving home from work today, crying like I typically do.  I've come to realize over the - what's about to be - five months that before Sam died, I really had no concept of the possible depths of my sadness.  My greatest hope then, is that I really have no sense of the possible…