Growing Up with Dolls.

I recently found a company, Bears 4 Absent Babies, who make personalized bears for Mamas who have lost their babies.  My Sam Bear arrived about two weeks ago.  He is six pounds, one ounce and 19.5 inches long; just as my sweet Sam was.  I find myself cuddling him a little extra this morning. Last…

Happiness & Normalcy.

I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks.  Mostly because life has kept us busy and that's something to celebrate!  The last few weeks have felt magical.  We flew to Naples, Florida and stayed at Ted's parents house just the two of us.  I didn't realize how refreshing and rejuvenating the trip would be until…

Falling & Getting Back Up.

One of my biggest anxieties is returning to work, seeing the faces of people I love and continuing on in life without Sam. This morning before I left for yoga class I had committed myself to going to work to drop off a transcript I've been working on from home.  Having the work has been…

Maybes and Possibilities.

Denial.  Anger.  Bargaining.  Depression.  Acceptance. The five stages of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model.  Unless I'm still in denial (which I don't think I am) I'm not sure I fit anywhere in particular on this scale.  The stages that books, nurses and counselors tell me we will jump to and from in no specific order.…

Your presence.

Something I wasn't prepared for is how physical grief can be. I'll never forget the morning Ted and I left the hospital.  We decided the day before to take the morning easy and leave on our own time later in the afternoon.  We woke up and Ted went down to Starbucks located inside the hospital…