Inside I’m Screaming.

Do you remember being a child and wanting something really bad?  Then your parents tell you you cannot have it and immediately, your response is to break down.  It doesn't matter where you are.  There's no relief because you're not getting what you want so you throw a fit.  You cry and you scream and…

A Bereaved Mother.

Rainbow babies.  I don't ever write about them here - or at least I haven't until now. Do you know how to confirm you're not pregnant?  By holding the pee stick up to the light.  Any glimmer of hope that maybe your eyes seeing with old contacts might be missing a second line will be…

A Thousand Years.

I've often heard Ted share that a difficult part of his journey as a loss Dad revolves around watching me and the pain that ebbs and flows so easily in my life.  I remember sitting in grief counseling with him one night and he shared, "Abby was just so excited to become a Mom" and…

I’m OK.

I saw this photo and found it fitting. I'm broken, it reads. It resonates with me on so many levels.  So often I answer, "I'm okay" when someone asks me how I'm doing.  Most of the time I mean it.  I am okay.  But faintly written on the outskirts of my response is my heart's…

Flood Yourself with Love.

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend and he asked me how I was with God.  It didn't take much time for me to respond, "For the first time in my life, I'm really not sure."  I shared with him that often times I wonder - why me, to which his voice returns…

When Death Chose Me.

Tonight I had dinner with a dear friend and she asked me how I was doing.  She asked me how I was really doing.  Lately I've found that anyone who ever asks me that question anymore are loss Moms.  I love being asked with sincerity how I really feel.  I looked her in the eyes…

Capture Your Grief – A Self Portrait.

Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook know I attempted to take part in the 'Capture Your Grief' project.  Capture Your Grief is an event hosted in the month of October which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. There are 31 subjects, one for each day in the month of October. …