Hard times, come again no more.

Recently Ted and I were watching a tv show where a daughter was being particularly hard on her mother. Her mother's friend said to the girl, "Be kind. Don't you think she's suffered enough for one lifetime?" Effortlessly tears began to fall as suffering has become a close friend of mine. But in reality, suffering…

Ember to Ashes.

Earlier this week Ted decided it would be a good idea to call our grief counselor and schedule a time to see him.  Jim, our counselor, scheduled us to come in right away.  The last time we saw him, around five months ago, we left our time together open ended because we all agreed Ted…

I’m OK.

I saw this photo and found it fitting. I'm broken, it reads. It resonates with me on so many levels.  So often I answer, "I'm okay" when someone asks me how I'm doing.  Most of the time I mean it.  I am okay.  But faintly written on the outskirts of my response is my heart's…

Flood Yourself with Love.

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend and he asked me how I was with God.  It didn't take much time for me to respond, "For the first time in my life, I'm really not sure."  I shared with him that often times I wonder - why me, to which his voice returns…

Maybes and Possibilities.

Denial.  Anger.  Bargaining.  Depression.  Acceptance. The five stages of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model.  Unless I'm still in denial (which I don't think I am) I'm not sure I fit anywhere in particular on this scale.  The stages that books, nurses and counselors tell me we will jump to and from in no specific order.…

Blessing Amidst Disappointment.

During my pregnancy I read a few different books and articles on breastfeeding.  So many times people asked me if I planned to breastfeed and I always had.  After Sam was born I was told I would still produce milk because Sam was a late term loss.  The only way to suppress the milk is to bind…