Creating Space.

For Christmas, my sister in law and her family bought me a new yoga mat.  I had been lusting after Jade Yoga's Harmony Mat in red wine.  How can you not fall in love with a red wine colored yoga mat? I've only used my new mat when I go to the studio.  I don't want to…

Hard times, come again no more.

Recently Ted and I were watching a tv show where a daughter was being particularly hard on her mother. Her mother's friend said to the girl, "Be kind. Don't you think she's suffered enough for one lifetime?" Effortlessly tears began to fall as suffering has become a close friend of mine. But in reality, suffering…

Seeing the Unseen.

As we grow older we learn that the things we really want for Christmas are not things at all. If I had it my way, Santa would bring me Sam. I took the day off work today to prepare for our annual friends White Elephant Christmas Party.  My morning started by greeting our plumber who…

Day 2 – Who They Are.

Sam Benjamin Newton {May 24, 2015} Our sweetest Sam was born at 36.5 weeks.  He was delivered at six pounds, one ounce. Our Little Lion {September 19, 2016} I miscarried our rainbow baby "lion" at eight weeks pregnant. For both of our babies, who they are is much more than their birth that was simultaneously…

Deep Grief and Great Love.

A constant state of emptiness surrounds me. A hole, now larger than the size of Sam ripped open to make room for Lion, exists within me. Before we were discharged from the ER, three different nurses on three different occasions had the lack of bedside manner to wish me a "Happy Early Birthday". They were…

A Thousand Years.

I've often heard Ted share that a difficult part of his journey as a loss Dad revolves around watching me and the pain that ebbs and flows so easily in my life.  I remember sitting in grief counseling with him one night and he shared, "Abby was just so excited to become a Mom" and…

I’m OK.

I saw this photo and found it fitting. I'm broken, it reads. It resonates with me on so many levels.  So often I answer, "I'm okay" when someone asks me how I'm doing.  Most of the time I mean it.  I am okay.  But faintly written on the outskirts of my response is my heart's…