. .Just getting more awesome.

One of the many reasons I was so excited to become a Mama was to finally share in the life and experiences of my Mama friends.  Pre-pregnancy I would giggle when I would see the quote "Everyone I know is getting pregnant and I'm just getting more awesome".  There's an honest truth to the quote and an…

Baby Newton live.

  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seculusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.  (Psalm 139: 15-16) From…

I surrender.

Before Sam was born Ted shared with me his excitement to look in his review mirror and see Sam riding in his backseat.  Now we both feel the emptiness behind us.  Ted tells me some of his loneliest moments are on his way to work, when he would have been dropping Sam off at daycare,…

Joy in Suffering.

The sun is out and it makes my heart happy.  All weekend I was saddened by the thought that it was going to rain all week long as forecasted, and I would be home enduring storms while Ted was working.  This afternoon I give thanks for the heat of the day and His light upon…

Father’s Day.

Today is Father's Day. Today is Ted's first Father's Day. Today is exactly one month since Sam was born to Jesus. Every Sunday that passes is another week that we are learning to live with the loss of Sam.  Neither Ted or I were particularly excited for this day to come.  With heavy hearts, we…

Blessing Amidst Disappointment.

During my pregnancy I read a few different books and articles on breastfeeding.  So many times people asked me if I planned to breastfeed and I always had.  After Sam was born I was told I would still produce milk because Sam was a late term loss.  The only way to suppress the milk is to bind…